What's a joke you haven't used yet, but are dying to share?

Read also:

• How can The Telegraph criticize US debt as a 'danger to the global economy' when the UK government is also drowning in debt?
• Taking a realistic look at terraforming Mars - Phys.org
• Wastewater is now helping track measles spread around the US - CNN
• First-ever airborne toxin detected in Western Hemisphere - Phys.org
• Brad Pitt and Tim Cook surprise fans at Apple Fifth Avenue ahead of ‘F1 The Movie’ release - 9to5Mac
• Sky's Courtney Vandersloot tears right ACL, will miss rest of season after leaving loss to Fever early - Yahoo Sports
• Why do people hate fat people so much, even people who aren't exactly supermodels themselves? It seems like such a deep, passionate hatred, like they're offended by fat people just existing. Fat people didn't do anything to them, so why hate them?
• Aurora borealis lights up northern Nevada, Carson City skies - Carson Now
• U.S. blasts Hamas response to Gaza ceasefire plan: ‘Totally unacceptable’ - The Washington Post
• Does the fact that the Ukraine war wasn’t ended in 24 hours like Trump promised mean that he either lied or was too dumb to understand that it is more complicated?
• My Husband Drinks a Pot of Coffee a Day—So I Asked the Experts If That's Safe - EatingWell